There is an actual rope between you and the people who matter at New York Fashion Week.
I know because I stood behind it.
We were at a Dolce & Gabbana event during NYFW when influencers began arriving and were ushered past the rope long before the general public was allowed in.
I wasn’t offended. I wasn’t even surprised.
That’s fashion.
The mystique and exclusivity of Fashion Week have always been part of its allure. The designer shows aren’t events you simply decide to attend. You’re invited because of who you are, who you know, who you represent or how much influence you have.
I owned a women’s boutique for 13 years.
In that world, that doesn’t make me anybody.
Being in NYC during Fashion Week is exciting in itself. My son and I had purchased pieces from Iseder, which gave us access to their show, and we had tickets for Runway 7 and The Bureau shows.
We saw shows. But we didn’t see THE shows.
Iseder was Riley’s choice. It’s a unique brand and the crowd was eclectic. The show was held in the dining room of a fancy restaurant and there were only nine looks. Some of them were a little odd to me, but I still appreciated being there and seeing an actual designer present a collection.
Runway 7 was a much bigger production with multiple designers and completely different styles coming down the runway. The crowd was young. It was exciting to be at a fashion show in New York during Fashion Week, but it wasn’t quite the experience I had been dreaming about.
The Bureau show at Gotham Hall felt a little closer. The venue was beautiful and more upscale, as were the attendees. The designers felt more established to me, but they still weren’t designers I knew.
I journeyed to Rockefeller Rink to watch Michael Kors on the big screen. I saw that DVF had her runway on the High Line while we were staying just blocks away at the Hotel Gansevoort.
And that pretty much sums up how Fashion Week felt to me.
So close, yet so far from the place I long to be.
I did the fun fashionable things while in New York. Seeing Bergdorf’s windows on Fifth Ave was incredible. Eating lunch at the cafe was memorable and their signature 125th anniversary martini was fabulous. Getting dressed up and going to shows was electrifying, sort of.
And I don’t want any of this to sound like I didn’t appreciate those experiences. I did. I was in New York during Fashion Week with my husband and son, going to shows and doing something I had always wanted to do. There were moments when I looked around and thought, How fun is this? I know how lucky I was to be there.
Wanting something more doesn’t mean I didn’t appreciate what I had.
But because these were experiences I could buy, they were different from the part of Fashion Week I was still curious about.
I want to know what it feels like to be invited.
Wanting something more doesn’t mean I didn’t appreciate what I had.
I knew New York Fashion Week was exclusive before I went.
Now I understand the exclusivity differently.
I stood on the public side of the rope. I watched from Rockefeller Center. I bought tickets to the shows available to me. And I had fun doing all of it.
But I also caught glimpses of the Fashion Week I’ve always been curious about.
The one on the other side of the rope.
And there’s the problem.
I want to be invited to that side.
I’m not sure I ever will be.
I spent 13 years owning a boutique. I know clothes. I love fashion. I’ve bought collections, worked with brands and dressed women for a living. But none of those things necessarily make me relevant to the people creating a guest list for a major designer show.
Maybe I’ll always be the woman watching Michael Kors on the big screen at Rockefeller Center while the people who matter are sitting at the show.
And yet...
I still want to see THE shows.
I’m just not sure I’m willing to become someone else to get there.